Archive for fear

My Anxiety Attacks These Days

Posted in random, Travel with tags , , , , , , on March 4, 2010 by hangingbridge

The year 2010 has been topped of by the Haiti earthquake in January with a magnitude of 7.0 that toppled infrastructures killing hundreds of people.  This month of February, the 8.8 magnitude earthquake that hit Chile also killing hundreds of people but less than that of Haiti.  The day after Chile’s earthquake, we had one up north Luzon at a magnitude of 5 and the next day, another earthquake hit Cagayan of a magnitude of 6.

After Chile’s 8.8 earthquake, authorities warned people of incoming tsunamis that are to hit nearby countries.  Every one was asked to evacuate.  After the tsunamis hitting Phuket Thailand years ago, they were taking this warning very seriously.  I for one, asked my father if we should go to higher ground for awhile since, if you look in the map, our country is very small (in relation to other countries) and a wave could easily wipe us out or so it seems. But there was no tsunami that hit this part of the globe.  Praise God.

Every time I get ready for work and every time I enter our office building, I ask myself if this could be that day that I, myself will experience these earthquakes.  Somehow, in this country, infrastructures cannot be relied on to be built with utmost safety. We have been known for graft and corruption in the government.  And so, people with money could get a building permit even without the qualifications.  They could get occupancy permits they want without their buildings inspected and approved to have the basic standards.  So I don’t trust any buildings here in city.

I’ve been seeing images of a building situated in China that I probably saw in the news which toppled like a domino.  It didn’t crumbled down but the whole thing fell on its side.  I was wondering if the building was just glued to the ground.

I was washing dishes in the pantry a few days back and I felt a slight tremor on the ground.  My heart palpitated and I was ready to run for cover.  We are at the fourth floor and there are 28 floors above us.  I don’t think there’s anywhere to run to unless out of the window.

I’m always hoping that my parents don’t stay too long in the office.  I want them to go somewhere else or stay home.  I’ve been having thoughts that they’d be in the office when the earthquake strikes.  I don’t want that to happen. But I couldn’t push them out of the office doors because of a fear I have.  Sometimes, I forget to pray even though I call out the Lord’s name in my mind during sudden call for help.  And there are times, when I become fatalistic and don’t ask for safety from Him anymore.  But mostly, I do call Him for help in everything – especially the ones that I could not control.


We’re off to Dos Palmas in Puerto Princesa this month.  I’ve never been to Palawan and after seeing the pictures in the internet about the resort, I encouraged my parents that we take our vacation there.  It was very provincial and seemed quiet.  I was excited a few days ago about our upcoming out-of-town get away.  But recently, I started getting anxious about the place. (I do have a mental problem, don’t I?)

This is where the terrorist group kidnapped vacationers a few years back who kept the victims for more than a year, I think.  And this is where a young actor died of allegedly drug overdose.  The place, I realized, was a source of bad memories for a lot of people already.  And I don’t want that to happen to me or my family.

As I see the pictures in the net, not on their websites but those photos taken by the guests themselves, I’m slightly having second thought.  But it’s too late now because we already paid our reservation of 4 days and 3 nights.

Maybe I could bring a Bible to read for comfort – to start the Holy Week early.