Archive for the On Top of My Head Category

Early Mornings

Posted in On Top of My Head on May 23, 2011 by hangingbridge

While I was still in school, it was very hard for me to wake up so early in the morning.  My father is the one who wakes us up by opening the room lights.  I can clearly remember his booming voice.  It was kind of a rude awakening everyday for 11 straight years.  (My father was in the military and I figured that was the way they are awaken in the barracks.)

I also remember that it was also joyful to wake up at the sound of an AM radio that gave us a hint that there was a storm and we didn’t have to go to school.

Now that I’m all grown up and playing responsible, I don’t need any rude awakenings from my father  (but I truly miss it).  I am the one who wakes up by myself.  And I refrain from being groggy when I wake up.  Instead, I’m up and running and looking at the time all the time.  Unlike school, I cannot be late for work.  It will cost me a lot.

Also, I don’t hear the AM radio in the morning anymore looking out for storm signals.  It wouldn’t bring me joy like before because I still have to go to work, with or without a storm.

This is just part of being a grown up.  Before, I have anticipated and I was anxious about it at the same time.  But now, I’m here.  It’s not so scary anymore.  You’re too busy to be scared when you’re an adult.  I love it.

What I don’t like about being all of this is that I don’t think my dad knows how much we still need him.  It would really be nice to let him know that we need to hear from him everyday.  I miss my father.  It’s hard to miss someone who’s physically present but so far away.  Sigh!


Tasks For The Day

Posted in On Top of My Head on May 12, 2011 by hangingbridge

I woke up at one in the morning last night (Is that a correct sentence?).  I couldn’t get back to sleep because my mind is in overdrive.  I suddenly thought of the things I needed to do.

1.  Ask how much the townhouse cost.

– My parents are selling their house which was used only for three months (and that was when I was pregnant and in hiding).  I’m planning to sell it for them.

2. Remind the nanny to wipe Via’s face, hands and toes three times a day.

– Via is putting everything in her mouth including her toes.  I want them clean before she sucks on them.

3. Fill up Korean Visa Application.

– We’re planning to visit Seoul.  Yay!  And I want to leave as soon as possible during my first month at my new work because I’m not yet entitled to an incentive at this time.  So, this is the best time to absent myself from work (never mind the bad record).  It really won’t make any difference in the salary I’m going to receive.

4. Complete the requirements for work.

5. Start completing the requirements for another work

– It’s what I’m preparing for – with all the studying I’m doing and with all the renewing of license (both PTR and PRC licenses).  I have the long list with me and I don’t really know where I should start.   Thinking about it stresses me out.

6.  Grocery shopping.

– Our cook is going away for her vacation (and I’m not sure if she’s coming back).  And so, I need to have something to make me sandwiches everyday.  I don’t know how to cook.  And I wouldn’t really like to wake up earlier than 3:45am just to cook my brunch.   And I’m thinking sandwiches are my best bet for a hearty brunch.

7. Finalize the itinerary.

I’m surfing the net ( ) in order to maximize our short trip to Seoul.  I plan to tour the place using the subways.  And there’s so many of them.  I think I need a print out of the web pages I have been surfing.  Sigh!

8. Remind my father that he needs to have a check-up.

– He has the flu.  And since, he’s not really that young anymore, I think he needs to visit the doctor.

I know I have forgotten something.  I should have written them down last night.

Year 2010

Posted in On Top of My Head on December 31, 2010 by hangingbridge

It’s the last day of the year and I’m trying to recall what this year has brought me (like everyone else is doing).  This year has been the longest year in my entire life.  It is probably because of all the struggles and troubles I have to deal with.  It never occurred to me that this year was going to be a difficult one for me. Therefore, I’m bracing myself for the coming year.  Now, I have to anticipate everything that could happen.  (This is enough to give me an anxiety attack, if you ask me.)

January:  Still Clueless Of The Year Ahead

This month was all work.  I even brought myself a desk planner.  It never occurred to me that I’d be out of work before the first half of the year ends. 

This month, I also learned a new sport – lawn tennis.  A friend was so persistent that I try it out.  He was very patient giving me a ride to and from the court. 

February:  Hello Hello

I met the father of my baby.  Yes.  It was only this year.  Therefore, we already have a baby without celebrating our first anniversary yet.  Talk about love on the fast lane. 

March:  I never knew love like this before…

I broke it off with my boyfriend of four years to be with Via’s papa.  I didn’t know that we were going to have Via then.  This month was letting go of someone in preferrence to another’s company.  Sometimes, love is that way.  Sneaky little thing has finally bitten me and left me more alive than before. 

This month, I realize that when you find that one person that’s meant for you, you’d know it even if you were born so clueless about everything else.  Everything is so sudden that God has probably placed us in that same place and time.  (And then everyone is questioning my right state of mind.  I don’t blame them.)

April:  On Leave

First time to go to Palawan.  Family stayed at Dos Palmas and enjoyed our 4-day stay in the island.  This is the only resort I know that don’t have a television in our rooms.  I panicked the first time I noticed that one critical fact.  But by the end of the vacation, you wouldn’t find the need for the tube when you can snorkel, scuba dive or go kayak the whole day along with everything else.  Food was great by the way.

May:  Pregnant but not telling

The family reunion took place this month in Manila and then in Bicol.  My grandparents, most especially Nanay, were so happy that all ten children could come from all over the world to celebrate this month together.  Everyday was about going out, cooking for a number of people, taking pictures and so much more.  This month was one fun month.

I was able to keep my pregnancy a secret for two months.  I waited for everyone to go and leave before I told my father the truth which eventually reached my mother and the rest of my family.  Now they’re the one keeping secrets.

This was also the month when Via’s papa is already staying in our own apartment still without me in it.  He was preparing the place for my own homecoming.  I was excited but there were other plans for me.  Therefore, the homecoming put on hold until after a few months.

June and July:  Exiled

I’m off to the States to spend the rest of my pregnancy – that was my parents’ plan.  It was against my will.  I was just going with the flow of everyone else until I can think of something better. 

I was thrown to California and then New Jersey.  These months were the longest.  I have never cried so often before in my life.  I wanted to go home so bad during these months.  Everything about the States was so unpleasant to me during those times.  And everything that reminds me of home was so precious. 

August:  My Homecoming

I finally convinced everyone that I really need to go home and couldn’t wait to deliver my baby in the States.  I bought my ticket and endured the 26 hours flight (stopovers included).  Boyfriend picked me up in the airport.  My parents weren’t too happy with the fact that I’m finally going to live with the father of my baby against their will. 

September:  I love you Mommy

This is the first time I cried during my birthday.  It was the first time that I saw my mom since June.  I knew I was being a crybaby about it.  But I really couldn’t help it.  She was the one I miss most of all.  Controlling that she was, she was still my mommy.  And I guess, she never thought I’d end up pregnant and not married to a man she approved of.  Well, I knew ever since that I wouldn’t be the one that will make her happy. 

October:  Back in my parents’ lair

Darn that preterm labor!  I have to leave our love nest and stay at my parents’ empty house near the hospital.  At my mother’s persuasion, my boyfriend agreed that I leave and let my mother take care of me for the meantime. 

November: Baby Out 7:56am

Only a few more weeks and I’m going to be a mommy.  I have so many things in my mind that I’m worried about during the whole month.   This includes my baby, my weight, my “husband”, my parents, my career and so much more.  It’s enough to drive you crazy and crying all the time.  I poured out my stress into food and the tv.  These were the last days when I also had a good night’s sleep.

December:  Torn Between Two Families

I had to disappoint and ruin the Christmas of my parents just so I could spend two days as a mom and a “wife”.  Left my parents’ home on the 24th to spend a quiet Christmas eve with my boyfriend and baby back in our apartment.  I’m not happy about it but I keep on disappointing my parents. 

Last Day of the Year 2010:  Waiting with my Via

I will definitely never forget this year.  So many crossroads encountered and so many decisions to be made.  And still, I’m leaving this year uncertain of the next coming year(s).  The only thing I want now is that never to be apart from my daughter maybe until she is married and happy and with kids. 

I’m going to welcome 2011 with no expectations and no resolutions but certain hope and great faith in my heart.

Knowledge or Creativity?

Posted in On Top of My Head with tags , , on July 7, 2010 by hangingbridge
I’d rather have creativity rather than knowledge.

I’d like to think that creativity is common to those who are presented with life’s challenges (both simple and complicated) without a previous basic knowledge. It’s more common to toddlers who find ways to get their simple goals. It’s not that common in adults. Creativity comes out of bits and pieces of what man has. Creativity lets man come up with something great from something so common.

Knowledge somehow boxes people’s mind. Somehow, knowledge makes some people very close-minded. Most adults live based on what they know. They don’t live by what they really want to be and somehow, hinders them to reach their full potential.

I’d rather be creative any day. Great things can come from someone as common as me if I was creative enough.


Posted in On Top of My Head on August 13, 2009 by hangingbridge

To Bob Ong: You’re so funny 😀 I’m a fan!

To the children of Marcos: Salute!

To myself: Make up your mind. Quick!

To Bf: *sigh!

To my mommy: pagaling ka na. Absent ka na lang tomorrow para well-rested the whole day.

To Daddy: I love you very much daddy.

to Gabino: lo-la! say lo-la!

to sister: thanks sa pasalubong!

to yaya analyn: good job! galingan mo pa kay Gab.

To ate rose: Salamat for 5 years of honesty, hardwork, and servitude… sana dito ka na sa amin forever

To Kuya: thanks po sa tulong niyo for more than 10 years na. You have been a great help to this family… hindi na kayo iba sa amin.

To Juan: Bago ka pa lang, and yet we trust you very much 😀

To Kris: Ang sarap mo magluto. Kainis! Turuan mo naman ako.