Year 2010

It’s the last day of the year and I’m trying to recall what this year has brought me (like everyone else is doing).  This year has been the longest year in my entire life.  It is probably because of all the struggles and troubles I have to deal with.  It never occurred to me that this year was going to be a difficult one for me. Therefore, I’m bracing myself for the coming year.  Now, I have to anticipate everything that could happen.  (This is enough to give me an anxiety attack, if you ask me.)

January:  Still Clueless Of The Year Ahead

This month was all work.  I even brought myself a desk planner.  It never occurred to me that I’d be out of work before the first half of the year ends. 

This month, I also learned a new sport – lawn tennis.  A friend was so persistent that I try it out.  He was very patient giving me a ride to and from the court. 

February:  Hello Hello

I met the father of my baby.  Yes.  It was only this year.  Therefore, we already have a baby without celebrating our first anniversary yet.  Talk about love on the fast lane. 

March:  I never knew love like this before…

I broke it off with my boyfriend of four years to be with Via’s papa.  I didn’t know that we were going to have Via then.  This month was letting go of someone in preferrence to another’s company.  Sometimes, love is that way.  Sneaky little thing has finally bitten me and left me more alive than before. 

This month, I realize that when you find that one person that’s meant for you, you’d know it even if you were born so clueless about everything else.  Everything is so sudden that God has probably placed us in that same place and time.  (And then everyone is questioning my right state of mind.  I don’t blame them.)

April:  On Leave

First time to go to Palawan.  Family stayed at Dos Palmas and enjoyed our 4-day stay in the island.  This is the only resort I know that don’t have a television in our rooms.  I panicked the first time I noticed that one critical fact.  But by the end of the vacation, you wouldn’t find the need for the tube when you can snorkel, scuba dive or go kayak the whole day along with everything else.  Food was great by the way.

May:  Pregnant but not telling

The family reunion took place this month in Manila and then in Bicol.  My grandparents, most especially Nanay, were so happy that all ten children could come from all over the world to celebrate this month together.  Everyday was about going out, cooking for a number of people, taking pictures and so much more.  This month was one fun month.

I was able to keep my pregnancy a secret for two months.  I waited for everyone to go and leave before I told my father the truth which eventually reached my mother and the rest of my family.  Now they’re the one keeping secrets.

This was also the month when Via’s papa is already staying in our own apartment still without me in it.  He was preparing the place for my own homecoming.  I was excited but there were other plans for me.  Therefore, the homecoming put on hold until after a few months.

June and July:  Exiled

I’m off to the States to spend the rest of my pregnancy – that was my parents’ plan.  It was against my will.  I was just going with the flow of everyone else until I can think of something better. 

I was thrown to California and then New Jersey.  These months were the longest.  I have never cried so often before in my life.  I wanted to go home so bad during these months.  Everything about the States was so unpleasant to me during those times.  And everything that reminds me of home was so precious. 

August:  My Homecoming

I finally convinced everyone that I really need to go home and couldn’t wait to deliver my baby in the States.  I bought my ticket and endured the 26 hours flight (stopovers included).  Boyfriend picked me up in the airport.  My parents weren’t too happy with the fact that I’m finally going to live with the father of my baby against their will. 

September:  I love you Mommy

This is the first time I cried during my birthday.  It was the first time that I saw my mom since June.  I knew I was being a crybaby about it.  But I really couldn’t help it.  She was the one I miss most of all.  Controlling that she was, she was still my mommy.  And I guess, she never thought I’d end up pregnant and not married to a man she approved of.  Well, I knew ever since that I wouldn’t be the one that will make her happy. 

October:  Back in my parents’ lair

Darn that preterm labor!  I have to leave our love nest and stay at my parents’ empty house near the hospital.  At my mother’s persuasion, my boyfriend agreed that I leave and let my mother take care of me for the meantime. 

November: Baby Out 7:56am

Only a few more weeks and I’m going to be a mommy.  I have so many things in my mind that I’m worried about during the whole month.   This includes my baby, my weight, my “husband”, my parents, my career and so much more.  It’s enough to drive you crazy and crying all the time.  I poured out my stress into food and the tv.  These were the last days when I also had a good night’s sleep.

December:  Torn Between Two Families

I had to disappoint and ruin the Christmas of my parents just so I could spend two days as a mom and a “wife”.  Left my parents’ home on the 24th to spend a quiet Christmas eve with my boyfriend and baby back in our apartment.  I’m not happy about it but I keep on disappointing my parents. 

Last Day of the Year 2010:  Waiting with my Via

I will definitely never forget this year.  So many crossroads encountered and so many decisions to be made.  And still, I’m leaving this year uncertain of the next coming year(s).  The only thing I want now is that never to be apart from my daughter maybe until she is married and happy and with kids. 

I’m going to welcome 2011 with no expectations and no resolutions but certain hope and great faith in my heart.

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6 Responses to “Year 2010”

  1. Happy New Year sis! I’m happy for you for having your own family.

    Don’t worry, trials and afflictions are just part of our life to make us strong.

    Another year is to come and I hope you’ll feel the true happiness.

    Same with me, we have no resolutions, just to make life at its best.

  2. broke up, loved again, got pregnant and gave birth. all that in 2010?! truly memorable! cheers to a better 2011!! happy new year!!

  3. Your life in 2010 was really a roller coaster ride eh? I’m glad you’re sharing it with us, and no matter how cliche it may sound, what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger, I’m sure everything will fall into its proper place, in its proper time.

    Happy new year sis! I feel like I am getting inch by inch closer to you even though I only know you online, keep the faith and always be happy and positive, it will manifest in you 🙂

    • hangingbridge Says:

      thanks for the kind words sis 🙂 witing for the time na everything would make sense again (for everyone)

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