Top 3 Ways I Don’t Want To Feel

This was inspired by a question in a certain local forum.  The thread in that forum got me into thinking.  And I got my top three.

Remorse.  Regret.  Jealousy.

Unfortunately, no matter what I do, there isn’t a year that has passed that I don’t encounter these most unpleasant feelings.

I have a bad temper.  When I do have them, I throw a huge temper tantrum.  It’s disgusting and shameful display of uncontrollable anger considering that I’m already old enough to suppress these fits.  And during that temper tantrums, I say mean words that I don’t really mean.

Remorse.  When someone asks for my help and I turn down the chance to do something for this person, I feel really bad about myself.  I mean I don’t get a chance to help out everyday, a chance that could actually redeem a part of my soul.

Remorse.  Buddha says, “The tongue like a sharp knife, kills without drawing blood”.  Most of the time, I feel remorse from the words I speak out.  It seems that at that time, it was the best thing I could think of saying.  And then, a few hours after, I realize that it was the worst thing I could say at that moment.  This is the reason why it is better for me to write what I want to say.  Because by writing, I could review and edit what I need to replace or remove from a phrase before the other person could even read it.  I don’t have the gift of gab.  And probably, I’m just not diplomatic enough.

Remorse.  I don’t intend to make fun of people.  Unfortunately, it happens.  I don’t like demeaning any of them.  But there are those time when I find it so appealing to do just that.  It’s not that I’m hateful or anything.  I just find them amusing to the point that I’m mocking them.  It’s a no-no.  Fortunately enough, I have more self control than ever.
– – – – Going to finish this when I come back on Sunday

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