One Glass of Soda A Day

Posted in Uncategorized, work on June 24, 2011 by hangingbridge

Oh no! I’m creating a really bad habit of drinking soda everyday.  Even though I don’t finish the entire glass of rootbeer, I can still feel my kidneys and tummy complaining with every gulp of the carbonated drink. I think my pancreas is also going to complain about it.  If it gets fed up, then it will probably resort to give me diabetes.

I’ve been drinking soda for the past four days and I don’t like it.  I think those combo meals make it really hard not to drink soda.  It feels like you’re wasting money if you don’t drink them.

But come to think of it, I will be wasting more time and money if I get sick.  So on Monday, I’d decline the glass of soda.  I also left the stub I got this morning.  It says there that I’m going to have a free upsize for my soda drink on my next visit.  I left it on the table and is up for grabs.

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I went window shopping in 7 Eleven awhile ago.  I was looking at all the junk foods they are offering.  But none appealed to me.  I left with nothing.  It was good exercise though.

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Currently, I’m working in a company where most employees are complaining everyday without exception.  I don’t know how they do it but the management makes it a point to harass the employees with some threat or reminder.

I think they’re power tripping because of the bond they are withholding from their employees.

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I’m going to leave this company as soon as the contract ends.  It’s too bad.  I like that it’s so easy to work here.  And I feel the same kind of fulfillment when I work in another company or field.  But then, the management is ruining everything, not just for me, but for the rest of us.

Coffee Can’t Help Me

Posted in food on June 9, 2011 by hangingbridge

Coffee has turned into one of my security blankets the same way other people see their coffee. People say they can’t wake up or start working without having their daily intake of caffeine. They need the smell and the taste of coffee in their system.

I love coffee basically because of the way it taste. And somehow, it picks me but maybe this is all just psychological crap on my part. It really doesn’t do much to me just the same way as water does.

I don’t easily palpitate with coffee. In fact, I haven’t palpitated by drinking coffee.

I started drinking coffee when I was in fourth grade. My father started to prepare half cup of coffee for my sister and me. It was him that started our addiction… ehem… our love for coffee. Ironically, my father is not a coffee drinker. He’d rather have hot tea or warm water. I think he just saw the need for us to have coffee at such an early age because it was so hard for us to wake up early in the morning.

My sister and I are so sluggish that my father had to say everything in a booming voice every morning so that we could pay attention. I think it’s tiring for him to do that all the time, hence, he saw it fit to have reinforcements like coffee.

But right now, I feel that coffee won’t do me any good.  It’s not an energy drink.  There’s not enough caffeine in one cup that could pump my adrenaline in order to pay attention at work today.

Ugh! It is really hard when you’re running out of energy.  I haven’t been listening to my students enough to understand what they were trying to tell me in class.

You can never rely on coffee to help you do a good job most of the time.

Sleepy

Posted in Uncategorized on June 3, 2011 by hangingbridge

I am so darn sleepy. I am yawning while having class. I just wish my students don’t notice it. Also, I’m not really listening to what they’re saying. My head is floating despite the cup of coffee I’m drinking right now.

My eyelids are not the only ones that feel heavy right now. My whole body is about to give way. I couldn’t sit upright.

I slept late last night like most work nights. I like to think that I’m able to juggle two jobs a day but I don’t really find it easy.

I’m also not able to sleep in between jobs because when my daughter wakes up, I prefer playing with her. Snuggling with her keeps me awake. I should have brought my baby to work.

She’s my cup of coffee.

Early Mornings

Posted in On Top of My Head on May 23, 2011 by hangingbridge

While I was still in school, it was very hard for me to wake up so early in the morning.  My father is the one who wakes us up by opening the room lights.  I can clearly remember his booming voice.  It was kind of a rude awakening everyday for 11 straight years.  (My father was in the military and I figured that was the way they are awaken in the barracks.)

I also remember that it was also joyful to wake up at the sound of an AM radio that gave us a hint that there was a storm and we didn’t have to go to school.

Now that I’m all grown up and playing responsible, I don’t need any rude awakenings from my father  (but I truly miss it).  I am the one who wakes up by myself.  And I refrain from being groggy when I wake up.  Instead, I’m up and running and looking at the time all the time.  Unlike school, I cannot be late for work.  It will cost me a lot.

Also, I don’t hear the AM radio in the morning anymore looking out for storm signals.  It wouldn’t bring me joy like before because I still have to go to work, with or without a storm.

This is just part of being a grown up.  Before, I have anticipated and I was anxious about it at the same time.  But now, I’m here.  It’s not so scary anymore.  You’re too busy to be scared when you’re an adult.  I love it.

What I don’t like about being all of this is that I don’t think my dad knows how much we still need him.  It would really be nice to let him know that we need to hear from him everyday.  I miss my father.  It’s hard to miss someone who’s physically present but so far away.  Sigh!

Tasks For The Day

Posted in On Top of My Head on May 12, 2011 by hangingbridge

I woke up at one in the morning last night (Is that a correct sentence?).  I couldn’t get back to sleep because my mind is in overdrive.  I suddenly thought of the things I needed to do.

1.  Ask how much the townhouse cost.

– My parents are selling their house which was used only for three months (and that was when I was pregnant and in hiding).  I’m planning to sell it for them.

2. Remind the nanny to wipe Via’s face, hands and toes three times a day.

– Via is putting everything in her mouth including her toes.  I want them clean before she sucks on them.

3. Fill up Korean Visa Application.

– We’re planning to visit Seoul.  Yay!  And I want to leave as soon as possible during my first month at my new work because I’m not yet entitled to an incentive at this time.  So, this is the best time to absent myself from work (never mind the bad record).  It really won’t make any difference in the salary I’m going to receive.

4. Complete the requirements for work.

5. Start completing the requirements for another work

– It’s what I’m preparing for – with all the studying I’m doing and with all the renewing of license (both PTR and PRC licenses).  I have the long list with me and I don’t really know where I should start.   Thinking about it stresses me out.

6.  Grocery shopping.

– Our cook is going away for her vacation (and I’m not sure if she’s coming back).  And so, I need to have something to make me sandwiches everyday.  I don’t know how to cook.  And I wouldn’t really like to wake up earlier than 3:45am just to cook my brunch.   And I’m thinking sandwiches are my best bet for a hearty brunch.

7. Finalize the itinerary.

I’m surfing the net ( http://www.visitseoul.net ) in order to maximize our short trip to Seoul.  I plan to tour the place using the subways.  And there’s so many of them.  I think I need a print out of the web pages I have been surfing.  Sigh!

8. Remind my father that he needs to have a check-up.

– He has the flu.  And since, he’s not really that young anymore, I think he needs to visit the doctor.

I know I have forgotten something.  I should have written them down last night.

At Work Right Now

Posted in work on May 11, 2011 by hangingbridge

I’m currently working right now.  Well, not anymore.  I just finished all my evaluation for my last client.  I have extra time right now.  I’m supposed to read the book I brought with me. But instead, I’m surfing the net.

They allow a limited number of websites here at work.  I think most companies have blocked Facebook from their internet connection.  And they don’t have Google.  That means I can’t access my blogs in Blogger.Com.

That’s okay.  I can always have WordPress anytime.

So I’m back writing in On A Daily Basis.

And I think I’m going to do this Monday to Friday.  Meanwhile, I can only post in Blogger.Com during the weekends whenever I have free time at home.

I came across this blogpost today:  http://chicogarcia.wordpress.com/2011/05/10/justin-bieber-vip-ticket-giveaway-winner/

It was so heart-warming.  I was teary-eyed.  I know the hardships of being a parent these days.  I even cry myself sometimes when I think about the things I couldn’t buy for my own kid.  And the daddy-rapper hit the spot.

It didn’t just tug at my heart.  It even broke it to pieces causing me to tear up at work.  Thank you for DJ Chico for sharing this podcast on his blog.

I Can’t Stop Crying

Posted in family, My Baby and Me on February 13, 2011 by hangingbridge

The baptism was a disaster.

First of all, it was not my idea to have my kid baptized yet even though everyone keeps telling me that kids her age should have already been baptized.  She is 2 months old, by the way. 

I don’t conforme.  And I don’t care what tradition says.  I would like to get my daughter baptize when I feel it is time to have her baptized. 

But the elders are so annoyingly persistent that I have to agree eventually so that they can stop bugging me about it.  They keep saying that my kid may easily get “sick” and may be prone to “usog”  if I don’t have her baptized soon.  I have an entirely different belief about all of this but they just wouldn’t stop. 

Some people think they can just impose what they want on others.  It’s annoying and rude – especially when they’re not related to you. 

There’s this person who is a family friend who has been the root cause of all this.  She thinks she just can bully anyone with her beliefs.  I have been very polite but this is the last straw.  I am never going to talk to her again. 

Here’s what happened:

I wanted to have my kid baptized with both parents present.  That means me and Via’s papa.  That is why I kept putting the baptism on hold because we wanted to plan it ourselves. 

And here comes the worm who keeps crawling and interfering into our family.  She’s brainwashing my parents to get my daughter baptized as soon as possible as if it was a national emergency.  I told her my concern that Via’s papa may not be allowed to attend if my parents were to shoulder the baptism.  I told her and everyone else, including my mother, that I will only allow it if it’s OKAY to have my boyfriend attend the ceremony. 

When they said yes, I wonder if they knew the meaning of “okay” because in my mind, “okay” means there wouldn’t be any “pabigat sa loob nila” if Via’s papa was to attend.  I didn’t want to impose on my parents.  If they don’t want my boyfriend within hearing, smelling or seeing range, then I won’t have this baptism take place because we are in no rush!

So I thought all along that it was really okay with my parents.  So in a week’s time, my mother and I planned the baptism of my daughter while Via’s papa had the documents ready – birth certificate and permission from her parish.

S0 yesterday came. 

Via’s papa, upon reaching the church, saw my father and approached him to pay respects by making “mano“.  But my father took his hand away and told my bf something only a “matapobre” would say.  I have not known my father as such.  I knew he is a good person but this time, I thought otherwise.  I let it pass that time. 

When the ceremony was about to start, my parents walked out just because they saw my boyfriend carrying our baby.  It seemed to me that they walked out on my Via.  I wanted to take my baby out of the church by that time.  But thinking about the guests and the fact that I don’t want them to know what’s going on, I decided to endure the whole thing.  But tears were building up until I couldn’t contain them anymore.  I was wiping my tears just so no one would notice.  But my bestfriend, her husband and my bf noted that I was already crying. My back was turned to the other godparents and guests so they didn’t notice that I felt tortured at the moment. 

I thought that walking out on my anak during her baptism was the last straw.  I couldn’t understand why they have to lie to me about my boyfriend joining the ceremony being okay.  They could just have told the truth that it wasn’t and we wouldn’t be there in the first place.  It wouldn’t really matter to us anyway, if may anak would already be able to sit when she gets baptized.  Or it wouldn’t really matter if my bf and I were the only people when my Via gets baptized.  We really don’t need the luncheon after. 

Another terrible thing was my cousin, probably upon my mother’s orders, kept getting my daughter from my bf’s arms.  And when the ceremony was over, my cousin took my daughter and ran out of the church.  When I saw that, I really got mad and ran after her.  My mother was gesturing our driver to get the van quick.  I felt they wanted to get Via away. 

I am so mad thinking about it right now. How dare they take away my baby without permission?!  Sobrang galit ko kahapon.  I got my baby and got into the van myself.  And then I couldn’t contain it anymore.  I got, least to say, hysterical.  I was screaming at everyone who came near me and my baby.  I don’t know what came over me but I was screaming like I had Tourette’s syndrome.  All I remember were the words “Leche kayo”.  If the priest witnessed that scene, he would have fetched a liter of that holy water and poured them over me. 

They keep taking away my baby from me and her father.  Gusto ko talaga magwala pero sa sasakyan ko nalang binuhos.  I knew people can hear me scream inside the van only after it transpired but even so, I didn’t regret it one bit.

I keep telling everyone to get off the van because my baby and I were going straight home.  But them people insisted on staying inside to drive off for lunch to celebrate.  What the heck?  Can’t they sense that I’m in no mood for food that time? (One of those rare occasions)

When we reached the place where everyone was supposed to celebrate the Christening, I told everyone to go inside and that we will follow suit.  I was about to ask our driver to drive Via, Yaya and me back home when I saw a couple of my friends go inside the restaurant.  I did a double take.  I’m not hysterical enough to abandon people who I invited in the first place.  Medyo nakakahiya.  Parang natauhan ako bigla na there are other people here that I also need to attend to.  So I have to put peace and quiet on hold for another hour or so. 

During lunch, I stayed in the other function room away from my parents and the rest of my relatives.  I had friends with me who weren’t there during the baptism and therefore, had no idea what happened. 

… I was able to compose myself enough to smile in pictures and people who had nothing to do with how disastrous this supposed-to-be special day was.

… Also, Via’s father decided not to attend the luncheon and I also thought it was for the best.